20 Random Questions is a feature on Sisterspooky that will show you a different side to authors you may already know and introduce new ones. I ask 20 very Random Questions and they answer them. Simple as that. The idea was inspired from a mixture of things in my head and a random question asked by Jim over at YA Contemporary
Today, we’re treated to the lovely answers of Joanna Nadin, author of the Rachel Riley series (the latest has just come out!) and the forthcoming Eden
If you were ruler of the world what laws would you make?
A crackdown on dog poo. Renationalise the railways. More goats in schools (seriously, we had a farm at school, it was awesome). No picking teams in PE.
If you were a super hero what powers would you have? Limit to three powers!
Invisibility. Flight. Infallible punctuation.
What’s your favourite cheese and why?
Halloumi because it squeaks satisfyingly against your teeth when you eat it.
If you were an animal what would you be and why?
Some kind of monkey. Small, hairy, sneaky – I’m already most of the way there.
If you could ask your future self one question what would it be?
Who wins the Grand National in 2015?
What do you think the greatest invention has been?
Printing. And also Marmite on toast.
What’s your favourite type of Pie?
Cherry. (Eaten after watching Kung Fu films – go watch True Romance)
If you could steal one thing without consequence what would it be and why?
The heart of Benedict Cumberbatch. In a non-medical sense.
Who’s your favourite Villain and why?
J.D. in Heathers. Because he’s like Batman and the Joker rolled into one smart-talking, suicide-faking, cool-walking teen god. Only mostly evil.
Do you have any superstitions and if so, what are they?
Never walk under ladders, always salute and say ‘hello, Sir’ when you see a single magpie, never say ‘good luck’ in a green room, always wear clean underpants in case you get run over (no idea where that one came from but it was gospel at our school in the 80s).
If you had a warning label, what would yours say and why?
No bright lights, don’t get her wet, and never feed her after midnight.
What’s your preferred playing piece in monopoly and why?
The flat iron, because it’s extinct now, which is sad.
What was the last thing you ate?
A piece of brown apple that my daughter refused to, claiming it was poison. I proved her wrong. Only I think she won that one.
Who would you want to be trapped on a desert island with? Pick no more than five people!
My brother James who is properly funny, my best friend Helen who knows about horrible things like camping, Stuart Murdoch from Belle and Sebastian for acoustic entertainment, Delia Smith to make dinner, and Harry Styles because then the tabloids would go bonkers and someone might actually bother to rescue us.
What song would you say best sums you up?
9 to 5 by Dolly Parton. I work crazily hard, but always in full make-up and, if possible, gold and sequins.
What was your first job?
Saturday girl on the record counter in Woolworth’s in 1985. I used to sell myself singles for 10p and got told off for playing too much psychobilly.
What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
Briefing the Prime Minister is on an equal standing with changing a nappy for the first time and getting up on stage in front of 500 eight-year-olds and entertaining them for an hour.
What’s the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?
Always wear a supportive bra (thanks, Mum). Also: never underestimate the comedy value of a monkey.
THANK YOU JOANNA! You can find out more about Joanna and her books on her website here and follow her on twitter. The latest Rachel Riley book, The Rachel Riley Diaries: Time of my Life, is out now and Eden is out in July 2014